URGENT AND OFFICIAL COMMUNICATION TO THE DEEP GNOME PEOPLE OF THE UNDERDARK
There is much to tell my comrads, but only little time is available to write.
I am here in some dung heap of a place only surface dwellers could call a home. This “town” as they call it, is located on the east coast of a country known as Rubinia, and the town is irrelevant that the name of it escapes me.
I have just emerged from a flying castle. Yes, that is correct, a castle that flies and not like a bat flies, but rather by the use of some sort of magic. Almost as strange as the flying is that it’s made of “ïce”. This is the term surface dwellers commonly call frozen water. Apparently this can happen to surface water during the cold season above.
I noticed this floating castle while I was traveling with a stranger I met. He went by the name of Featherstump. By chance he too is a miner by trade and his background gave us a great deal to talk about, but as with all surface dweller’s he is not nearly as bright as the people of the Deep Gnome race. We had been in town for a little more than a day when out of nowhere upsprang this castle that hovered high above the land. Featherstump didn’t want to venture to it, but having met some new aquaintences that arrived in town earlier today we aquired some flying mounts and took to the sky and then into the castle. This group is allowing me to travel with them for they too are wonderers, but they seek fortune, not knowledge. Well most are seeking fortune. Windsplitter, a blue humaniod creature of great size was insistent on slaying the frost giant who occupied the castle. I’m not clear why and even Windsplitter, as ignorent as inferior races are questioned his own gods instructions, but ’that was only after the dirty deed had been carried out.
My new travel companions are all about as eccentric as Windsplitter so rest assured that none being equal to gnomes has yet been found.
Isam is wood elf who seems to be hiding something and I shall not trust him until his secrets have been revealed. Like Isam, Orlin is just a lowly wood elf. Tyrmyndryl is actually one of those dragaonborns we have heard of in stories, but I assure you neither this dragonborn or any of my other companions equal in the superior intellect of Gnomes.
Then there is Quetzel: His speech is so frequent that it makes my head hurt. Even when he is not in speech, I can still hear his voice in my head. It just keeps saying “yada, yada, yada, yada, yada…” and although this creature seems to be fascinated with precious stones, he doesn’t understand the value of them, but as I said, he is of inferior intelligence for he is of a race referred to as lizardfolk. Speaking of babble, I learned a new term used in the surface dweller’s Common language: diarrhea mouth.
I don’t feel I’d be doing service to the magnificent Deep Gnome People of the Underworld if I didn’t relay my fears. I may say this with haste, but my conscience will be as clear as a cloudless sky in Thay. The lizardfolk worry me for they are surface dwellers and must endure the cold season above, and they do not like the fridged temperatures. If they ever come to the understanding how much warmer and pleasant our planetary womb is over their bug infested and fridged swamp is, they may call to arms in hopes of underdark occupation. We must seek out these lizard folk in their own hunting ground, and rid of them from this universe. Failure to do so could result in many babbling lizardfolk with no end of communication in sight. For the good of our superior race and for the good of the universe as a whole, we must cleanse the surface world before it is too late. At the very least we must cut out everyone of their tongues to ensure no potential misfortunes.
This is all I for this communication. If I haven’t put myself out of my own misery due to the lizard folk’s torturous babble, I will be in communication in the near future.
I bid adieu to the most excellent Deep Gnome People of the Underdark.